The Art of Gifting

Very recently I was wondering that when we were in school or college, with little or no money in hand, we always used to get gifts for friends for their birthdays. It could be a simple stupid thing - a handmade greeting card or letter with a candy/ chocolate / a tiny piece of street jewellery - whatever we could afford then in a beautifully wrapped package (as pretty as our creativity permitted).

Now that we are all earning and "settled" (read married with kid/s), we whatsapp each other on birthdays and kid's birthdays, forget anniversaries but like each other's photos and posts on facebook. It's only when somebody comes from a trip abroad that gifts are expected. Phew! And there was the time when we thought, that had we had a little more money, we would gift each other the world.

To be honest, now that we are settled in our set lives, that are sometimes boring, tiring or monotonous - this is the exact time to get gifting using all our creativity. The personal touch that is lost somewhere between whatsapp, facebook or instagram, needs to be rekindled, at least on those special occasions that are birthdays and anniversaries.

The gift can be anything, if you can't get enough time to make something up. But we can go creative with the packaging, add a note or a handmade greeting card. If you want to pack something innovatively but are short of ideas - one search on google or youtube can give you many simple ones (a couple of links below).

But for the note or card, let your ideas flow free. Maybe you can print an old pic, or a picture collage (its easy these days with simple mobile apps for everything) or you can cartoonize your friend (again through an app like Momentcam or through a website - remember photofunia?) and take a printout with a caption added. You can buy a photo mug, photo magnet or even a personalized t-shirt (if you want to go really crazy).

If you are the craftsy types, whoa! You can do so much more! If you are the stitching-sewing-knitting-embroidery types - you can stitch a small coin purse or knit a sock-sweater or you can do something simple like sewing the initials on a handkerchief that you are gifting. If you like to paint, you can paint or draw and get it framed or do fabric painting on a dupatta or paint a vase. If you do not have much of a artistic inclination, choose something else that you love doing. If you plan ahead, these things will not take as much time as you think since you enjoy doing it.
              Let the birthdays and anniversaries be a little more special, a little more personal, a little more colourful and fun. A surprise visit with a pretty gift in hand never hurt anybody. Bring a little more cheer into the lives of those you love and the same will come back to you :)

24 Creative Gift Wrapping Ideas

Fun, Creative Gift Wrapping Ideas - YouTube

Photo printing on fabric - DIY

Tummy love

When it comes to food, there can only be 2 types of people in the world - 1) who eat to live and 2) who live to eat. And when they get to the dinner table, the twain shall never meet.

All religious teachings, health books and yoga and the like will ask you to control your senses and get into category 1. That being a human you should never eat to indulge but to provide energy for your body. But being in Category 2, I find my little joys in eating good food.

Everybody has their own little indulgences. My husband's first love is TV (yes, not me). Some go crazy about people, gossip, page 3, music, movies, news, politics or sports. I love being able to choose the food on my plate.

I cannot and seriously cannot eat the same food everyday. Whatever it may be. There has to be variety, there has to be taste. And I really don't understand how people can eat bread, eggs, buns or even idli-dosa, chawal-dal every single day.

Maybe these foods they have eaten since childhood and they find reassurance and fullness in these foods. Not for me. I like my occasional Chinese, Thai, Mexican, Italian or even Gujrati farsaan, Bengali sweets and Malwani gravies for that matter.

And when I eat heart warming food like that, I simply eat. I might share a word or two with fellow diners. But am not staring at the TV, checking my phone or worrying about how many calories it has. Am only eating, communicating with my food at this ethereal level, and telling it how awesome, wholesome it is. I call it being in love with food. It is when you plunge your spoon into an out of this world moong daal halwa and put it into your mouth where it so beautifully melts and breaks down into all these lovely flavors that make you close your eyes and enjoy the heaven that it is. Bliss! Nirvana!

And I really don't understand how people can be otherwise, not appreciating the food choices we have. It is love of a different kind, a kind of meditation. And it happens only when the tummy is happy. Its like the traveller's soul. The traveller can stay at one place all life, it's possible to do so. But the heart will always wander towards the places it wants to visit. And be happy in the travelling.

Payment Wallets - my take on it

Paytm, PayUmoney, Mobikwik, Freecharge, Oxigen - there are so many payment wallets around these days and they claim to offer so much to the buyer. Discounts, cashbacks, reward points in addition to faster payment times and added security. Here's what I as a regular online shopper think about it all.

1. Paying utility bills / recharges- Wherever cashbacks and discounts are offered on utility bill payments, I think this is a pretty good idea. Sites like Paytm have offers that sometimes give a good Rs.100 cashback - which is quite something. And you get all the convenience of online transaction with the necessary security. Some like Payumoney have a very neat website design that makes the transaction seem simpler.

2. Paying for Taxi / Cab services like Uber or Ola or others - Another wonderful idea, I think. Making the transaction cashless saves you the trouble of always having to keep change in your pocket or the risk of the cab driver not returning the necessary change. And its convenient and safe too - you are not left hunting around your bags for the money or change.

3. Online shopping - Ah! This is where these players would plan for most of their business. When you have money lying in a wallet online, the temptation to spend it on shopping online is too great! And then they offer you cashbacks - ridiculous cashbacks that leave me drooling :P! 

               But then it also determines where I shop from. For eg: if A site offers 10% discount on the MRP of a product, and B site offers 5% discount, but with additional cashback of 10% on a particular wallet, I definitely choose B. Because I know that I can use the cashback on other transactions easily, and it gives me an overall 15% discount benefit. Overall, although paying through a payment wallet during online shopping offers various benefits, shopaholics like me need to watch out for overspending.

These wallets are still new in India and hence the offers are presently too good to be true. Over time, these cashbacks and perks may reduce - whether consumers will still opt for them then, is a question. Also, online marketplace laws and regulations have recently been put in place - lawmakers are critical of the discounts offered. And then my online shopping habits will be brought under control. Until then, I am making hay while the sun shines. :D

Do you care enough for yourself??

A recent news article (see link here) covered a study that indicates, there is a 36% rise in the number of male smokers in the 15-69 age group in India, from 1998 to 2015. And that too with all the media attention, warnings on packets, ads in movie theatres / radio / TV and the rising taxes on cigarettes / tobacco. 

Tobacco use and the factors that cause people to get addicted to it - is a vast topic worthy of a debate. But what articles like this one, and the behaviour of some of the people I have come across indicates, is that there are quite a lot of people who don't care even about themselves. Whether the cause is an unhappy childhood, health issues, past incidents or the social environment - it still seems like a major issue to me. Have you ever wondered?

I have seen people blindly acting as per their parents / teachers / superior's instructions, even if it were completely against their own wishes. I have seen people sacrifice their happiness for family, friends even at the cost of their own joy and self-worth. No, I am not talking about the dutiful Bahu of our Saas-Bahu operas - they seem to be God's own children and are truly fictional. And I am not talking about the great leaders and patriots who have served the country - they did so willingly and happily.

I am talking about the child who does not paint, because the parents don't like it. I am talking about the youth who chooses the occupation his family and friends appreciate. I am talking about the lady who dresses as per her in-laws wishes. These are  mundane examples, the level of self deprivation that some people go to; you and I can only imagine. What causes such low self esteem or self-depriving behaviour?

Psychology, psychiatry has suggested some answers about the behaviour of people. One interesting theory is that of Transactional Analysis by Eric Berne. It talks about different ego states within the person - parent, child and adult. In parent ego state, people behave the way they have been programmed since childhood - things they have learnt from their parents, family when young. In the child ego state, people respond the way a child would - spontaneously. In the adult ego state, people act rationally - they can identify right from wrong, differentiate between what has always been done and what is logically correct - what can be called the ideal ego state.  

Further on, it describes how Parent ego state can be nurturing or critical and how Child ego state can be spontaneous or adapted - all depending upon the person's childhood. If a parent has been extra caring regarding your health, you grow up to be health conscious. If a parent is critical about your talensts, you grow up doubting yourself. Until the time you stop to think and wonder why you do some of the things you do. 

An essential exercise when we step into adulthood - activating our thinking wheels. And identifying the reasons behind the things we absolutely love or completely hate - the base behind our strongest opinions and emotions. If we do not get into the habit of questioning ourselves, we do what others have taught us - automatically and often inadequately. It is a matter of our intellectual and spiritual growth - taking good care of our own selves.

One can say that so much of the personality gets shaped in childhood that it proves that good parenting is essential for a person's overall growth. But the individual kicks in somewhere during the growth period - whether or not the circumstances are ideal, you will find good, strong people emerging from them. It is a choice we make for ourselves - to be the way we want to be.

Related Links:

1. Transactional Analysis - Wikipedia
2. I'm OK, You're OK - Thomas Harris, wiki-link

Do you know about the vampires that suck your electricity??

Oh, ok! I agree - I was only trying to make the title attractive. But continuing my energy-conscious series of blogs, I wanted to check just about how many people understand the concept of standby power / phantom energy / vampire energy. (For definition, here's the wiki-link)

Standby power is the power consumed by electrical / electronic devices when switched off, but while connected to the power source. Ideally, they should not consume any power when they are switched off, but many innocent looking devices around our home actually consume some little power even when switched off - chargers (phone / laptop) being one of the prime culprits.

So how much electricity do they suck away silently? Well, not a very huge significant portion of your residential electricity bill - a maximum of 10% maybe. In fact, it can also be marginal if you have fewer devices. So if your power tariff is low, then there is not much cause for alarm as such. But remember that power tariffs are increasing by the day. And although this is something minor for your home; for your city, state or country - that little amount translates to huge numbers. So environmentally, it makes a big difference. 

So what can you do to prevent this energy loss that you are paying for, and did not even realize? There are quite a few things you can do:

1. Replace old electronic devices with more energy efficient ones - the BEE star ratings can guide you with it. 
2. Use of Smart power strips and surge protectors - things that look like spike guards, but offer the additional benefit of protecting against voltage fluctuations and preventing energy loss. However, these smart devices are more commonly available in the western world and are somewhat expensive too.
3. You can use devices that track which of your electrical equipments consume the most power in standby mode

But the cheapest and best option available is to simply unplug devices from their power sockets! Ok, so that is not very convenient. But for devices that are not frequently in use, it is always a good thing to do - it is also a safeguard against fire risks. For eg: the juicer /mixer in the kitchen, the water purifier, the charger, even the geyser or washing machine - devices that are used just about once a day, can easily be kept unplugged. A few seconds of inconvenience can save you money with the additional benefit of having done something good for the environment. Will you do it?

Related links:

1.  How Vampire Power Works
2. Are Energy Vampires Sucking You Dry?

The under-rated power of online reviews

India's online market place is growing at a great pace. Everything from a shoe to a house - gets bought and sold online. Consumers jump from one marketplace to another depending upon the prices offered, the delivery time, the variety of options available and the reliability of the seller. When it comes to reliability and product quality, most of the customers fall back on the reviews posted by others who have bought the same product. Considering these, all the online retail biggies or the wannabe biggies - ought to pay a little more attention to collecting reviews from its customers. 

Around the world, there are dedicated review sites which provide reviews for everything - from consumer products to software to websites to businesses. And they pay their reviewers good money for doing so. India can boast of only a few review sites - mouthshut.com, tripadvisor.com, zomato.com. For reviews, most of the online shopping community depends upon feedback posted on Flipkart, Amazon, Snapdeal etc. by certified buyers.

Strangely, some of the biggies do not give an option to review. Ebay only allows buyers to rate the transaction and provide them feedback, while PayTm , allows only seller ratings. Even bigbasket has no place for product reviews. On the other hand, there is the cosmetics/personal care website purplle.com, which rewards users with loyalty points for giving reviews. 

I believe that not only e-commerce sites should encourage and actively seek customer feedback, but going forward, reward them for doing so with loyalty points. It does not have to be a big gesture or reward - just a simple acknowledgement for the customer who does take time out to review. It will also ensure that instead of only negative reviews (which people tend to be more eager to post), positive reviews will also be encouraged.

Oh! The Stock Market Bulls and Bears

The kind of things people say sometimes! Listen to this one mentioned in the news a couple of days ago - 'If the market falls 20% more, sell your house and buy equity,' Nilesh Shah, MD Kotak MF.

I understand that the gentleman must have meant that with a further fall of 20%, the Indian stock market would be a lucrative buy, as against real estate or any other investments. But in the stock market world, it is always better to be clear. For many fortunes have been made and lost here in an attempt to reach into the heart of this seductive temptress.

Personally, I am in no position to give advice on the stock market. I have not really followed or kept track of it. Once when tempted into it, have managed to lose a few thousands here and there - thousands which would not have been lost, had I not developed cold feet a few months into the investment. A fair few times, I have also made money, when I have invested wisely - through mutual funds. But again, I could have made more money if I had waited for the right time.

All I can share is my personal experience for those who really want to invest. My experience says that, unless you are following the stock market very carefully and religiously, it is better not to buy shares blindly based on market gossip or tips from your brokers or friends / families - however reliable it seems. If you must; invest in A group shares with reputed company names (read here about classification of shares). But better still, do not put your own head into deciding what to buy. Let better heads decide - i.e. invest through mutual funds.

There are rating agencies, brokerage houses online - all give you good information on which funds are doing well over a 5 year or other reasonable period and which are not. Additionally, equity mutual funds enjoy good tax benefits in our country - equivalent to the purchase of equity shares - no taxes if you hold for a minimum of 1 year. Also, you can invest small amounts regularly - through Systematic Investment Plans or SIPs. Small amounts like Rs. 500/ Rs.1000 per month can be invested. Unlike in case of shares, where you have to buy according to the market value. A big plus these days is that mutual fund investment can be easily done online now and direct investors do not attract brokerage charges or annual fees.

Second thing is, to know that for really good returns, you have to consider holding onto your investments for at least 5 good years (provided that you have invested wisely - through good mutual funds or directly in good A group shares that you have researched on). Once you have invested wisely, sit back and don't look at your investments frequently - forget it for a couple of years at least. Okay, you may keep a track of your investments if  you can't forget about it. But remember that market fluctuations are cyclical - so don't jump to buy as soon as the stock market falls and don't rush to sell as soon as the market picks up. The vice versa is also true. Stock market investments are not for the faint-hearted. One who wants to win, has to have the patience to wait for the right time.

Third thing is - how do you know when the time is right? For starting with your investment in baby steps through mutual funds - almost any time is right. For directly buying shares, you will need to do some research. But if you wish to buy good quality shares that you know have great potential, again any time is right. The perfect timing is a matter of concern for regular / daily traders and brokers, who invest in all and any kind of shares - depending upon market news, day to day changes. For us common folk, being a long term steady investor makes more sense. It gives you more peace of mind too. And good time to sell? Well, after you have been invested for at least 3-5 years and have accumulated a good base, sell whenever you need the money. Don't go by greed, just by your need.

I know what I have mentioned above is not much. I have only stated what everybody intuitively knows about the stock market. But there are fears and stigmas attached to investing in stock markets - I would suggest that today investors be brave enough to invest in the markets, but through mutual funds. The amount of knowledge and information available through the internet today for investors is pretty good. One can use it to good advantage and also play a role in helping our economy.

Renewable Energy India - take a quick look

Along with the LED and Bijli bachao campaigns, another subject that keeps hinting at great potential - are the renewable sources of energy. Based on the data sourced from the Ministry of New and Renewable Energy (MNRE) and the Ministry of Statistics and Programme Implementation (MOSPI), lets take a quick look at the renewable energy scenario in India.

The projected capacity requirement of energy in India for the year 2030 is estimated at 7,55,719 MW (source: CSE). The present installed capacity as of 31.03.14 is 284,634 MW. If we look at the table below for Renewable Energy potential in India, it is clear that Solar Power on its own can meet this target. Wind and Solar Power being the high potential areas for our country for meeting our energy needs. 

Do check the below links for the original reports - they have provided some good state-wise graphs and figures.

1. Energy Stats 2015

2. Renewable Energy in India: Growth and Targets

Mosquito Menace

Trying to decide whether I should switch off the fan on a cold winter morning - the choices being getting bitten by mosquitoes or feeling the chill in my bones, I am struck by the thought that so many of my household decisions recently have depended upon the presence or absence of mosquitoes.

There is a plot under excavation in the neighbourhood and the water logging there has led to an increase in the number of mosquitoes. But then, winters have always meant more mosquitoes. The trouble is that lately there is not much relief even in other seasons. And the fear of malaria, dengue and other mosquito borne diseases (Zika being the new addition), always keeps us on our toes.

So we have mosquito repellent machines, fast action cards for difficult days, mosquito repellent cream, had even bought mosquito nets for bed, but found it a cumbersome task to use. One window has a net against mosquito, planning for the others now. We keep the fan switched on even when we do not need it, only to keep mosquitoes away. We think before we keep indoor plants, keep windows shut in the evenings and have made ourselves miserable in every possible way.

Why is it that mosquitoes have become such a menace? Haven't we paying enough attention to the health risks that result in letting mosquitoes breed? Researchers in China are working on a project to infect mosquitoes with bacteria to bring down their population - read link here. Brazilian armed forces have now taken up the task of fighting the Zika menace (read here). Why aren't we in India taking things as seriously? We are focusing more on the protection equipment and cures for disease - all very good for the businesses working in the area, but not for the rest of us.

Whatever results such projects give, it will be very difficult to fully eradicate the species - not that one would want to do it either (remember the link between possible extinction of bees and the food chain?). But bringing their population under control is the need of the day. We are spending more and more on preventing mosquito bites. We really do need our scientists to work on the China model. What say?

Following are links that suggest some natural remedies against mosquitoes. Check and let me know if any of these work for you.

A safe and Natural Mosquito Repellent which can be made at home

5 Home remedies to keep mosquitoes away this monsoon

10 Ways To Get Rid Of Mosquitoes

Capital Punishment - what's right or wrong

The death penalty or capital punishment has been the subject of debate for long. Almost everybody has an opinion on it. Me too!

When I was young (as in school-college; not that I am old now :-P), I believed that death was too easy a punishment for cold blooded murderers and rapists (I still believe rape deserves the capital punishment). I wanted a law that would have them tortured, see them struggling, isolated for life - so that every living moment of their life, they would repent and feel the pain of the family who lost a loved one. The stoning to death penalty in some Gulf nations, seemed pretty attractive as an alternative.

But then I grew up. And I realized that in India, a life imprisonment lasts for a minimum of 14 years, with a chance of release for good behaviour after that. But more importantly, I realized that the process of delivery of justice is long and not always fair. Many a times, the corruption within it, makes it biased against the poor or weak. The victim or their family spend ages in trying to get justice. And yet some criminals walk away free.

I also realized that our Government does not really have the kind of money to keep all the prisons in order, or to have a mechanism to keep a check on the parity within their gates. Our prisons are not self sufficient, although that is something that can be done with initiative (read links below - prisons and rehabilitation of inmates is a separate topic altogether). Presently they use up taxpayers' monies that taxpayers would wish to be spent elsewhere in more productive areas.

But mostly, I feel that till the time justice is done speedily and fairly in this country, it is better to retain the capital punishment.  It at least provides a closure of some sort to the victims, who have struggled through the process of delayed justice.

My opinion has hence changed. Not due to sympathy for the criminals, or any religious beliefs, but the present scenario. Maybe it will never change for some crimes like rape. But what I really wish for my country is a more powerful and efficient judiciary. A major revamp of some laws and a more transparent system.

Suggested links:
Labour Jurisprudence and Indian Prisons: A Drift towards Reformation
Amritsar Prison
Prisons in India - wikipedia

The Power of the Human Heart: Transforming Asia’s Biggest Prison

Odisha's jail-ashram making prisoners self-sufficient

Tele ads - from the mundane to the exceptional

Considering that there is a creative bunch of people behind every television ad, it is such a pity that most of these ads are either ridiculous, forgettable or simply ordinary. It is only once in a while that you will come across an ad that makes you sit back and take notice.

Like the Dhara - jalebi ad of the yesteryears. Or the Aamir-Mahima-Aish Pepsi ad, that left people's mouth hanging open. Or the 'Washing powder Nirma' jingle or the Videocon washing machine tune or the Rasna girl. Of late, however, there are very few ads that catch one's fancy.

I liked the 'Daag acche hain' concept by Surf. And the Frooti song last summer in some strange language - 'Aamaltiya staavinkrata' or whatever, that was picturized on footballers and Shah Rukh Khan. But I burst out laughing with the new Savlon ad - incredible truly!

What do ad-makers focus on while making ads? I can guess that 1) the ad should have a recall value (people should remember the product and the brand), 2) the USP of the product should be highlighted and 3) it should be watchable. But sadly, to make ads watchable, they have been focusing more on brand ambassadors than on creativity. I wish that would change. Hats off to Savlon by the way!

Pregnancy and Motherhood

For all the couples who plan for a baby and the pregnancy occurs immediately thereafter, pregnancy will seem like a natural process, a given for healthy couples. You get married, then plan for a baby, the baby comes and voila! It is a perfect family!

But there are couples who have to get medical assistance, for existing health issues or for health issues they had earlier been unaware of. And sometimes they have to undergo tests and screenings, simply to identify why there is a delay in pregnancy. And when all this occurs, they try to delve into the how and what of pregnancy and parenthood. Internet these days, has made it easier for us to get any information we want. But the more you find out, the less you know.

When you try to understand how conception occurs, how a pregnancy is sustained, how many health and lifestyle factors can effect pregnancy - you begin to realize that Pregnancy is nothing short of a miracle. Indeed, sometimes perfectly healthy couples may find it difficult to have a baby, while someone ill or under terrible stress, can have a perfectly healthy baby. It is in fact a miracle, God's blessing or the hand of fate - whichever way you like to look at it.

And getting pregnant is just the first step, once a woman is pregnant, through all the changes occurring in her body, her lifestyle, her life - she has the responsibility to sustain the child within her for 9 months taking utmost care all the way. Of course, these changes affect the entire family, the would be father too. But the greatest impact is on the woman nurturing the womb.

She will get loads of advice and suggestions; some good, some conflicting, some simply difficult to follow. She cannot eat anything she wants as much as she wants. The medicines, cosmetics, even the shampoos she has been regularly using, may not be suitable during pregnancy. She cannot travel like she used to. She doesn't even look like she used to. And to top it all, she might not feel like she used to, there is a surge of emotions and thoughts that she had been blissfully unaware of earlier.

If she chooses to, there are a host of things that she can worry about - about the health of the baby, about her health, the financial situation, the baby's future - everything comes crowding in. But eventually she will realize that like the event of getting pregnant, for everything else thereafter she has to be positive and put her faith in God.

Because parenthood brings responsibility, in a way that you had never imagined and changes in your life that you never fully anticipated. It is a joy, one which is to be savoured every minute of this lifelong journey which has only just begun with pregnancy. Remember that it is a miracle, and you will need every ounce of your strength and faith to make it through. Wish you all a happy parenthood.

Education in India

Considering the fact that it has been more than 3 months since I started on this blog, it was a bit surprising for me to realize that I had never written on the topic of education. Since this one subject is very close to my heart.

I have always wondered why the subjects I studied in school did not really provide the kind of education that is expected in a country with such a rich and varied heritage. History ended with our Independence, geography taught me the kind of crops that can be grown in savanna region, and maths - well it never taught me where I could apply it!

And then a few years ago, with competition for college seats rising, and an increasing no of suicides among students - the education performance ranking and evaluation system was revamped. Instead of ranks, they gave grades and in many ways it made it easier for students to pass out. Getting 90% seems not so difficult anymore.

But did they do it right? I believe that instead of ranking and exam systems, they out to have revamped the entire syllabus. The syllabus does get updated every once in a while, they have added internals and project work to it (project work which is ultimately taken care of by the parents) - but is it still making enough sense?

Why is current affairs not included? Self-defence, public speaking, introduction to arts, a good level of computer training should be included. And why limited subjects and so few optionals? Why isn't Sanskrit being taught when the world is recognizing the strength of its language and syntax? Why does history have to only be about India and Indian independence heroes - world history, recent wars, everything ought to be covered - should it not? Considering the latest hue and cry on intolerance, a little empathetic understanding of different religions wouldn't harm as well - since, all the religions ultimately believe in one God.

In a bid to making school bags lighter, the syllabus has been lightened for the pre-primary and primary students. But that is the age when children are fastest at learning new things, picking up languages and skills - and this is universally known. They didn't want students to learn things parrot-like or by-heart. But number tables and many other things that come useful later on, ought to be learnt like that. Otherwise people grow up to be fools (not unlike me) who pick up a calculator (on mobile or otherwise) to add 33 to 47.

Fortunately, young parents today are generally very concerned about their children's holistic education - signing them up for other courses and extra-curricular activities as well. But that option remains with those who are financially self-sufficient. For the rest, the education system in the country has to really come up to the mark.

What's up with our secular India?

Just when we thought the intolerance debate had died down with the Bihar elections, one statement by a public figure has evoked the kind of reactions that seriously make us wonder if there really is freedom of speech in this country.

I am not taking sides here - it's just the fact that every person, whether he is a star or a common man - is entitled to his own opinion. Of course, it would suit the stars better if they were more diplomatic in their communication, but then they are also humans.

So why such reactions? If India was really tolerant, we could have listened to it and given it a thought. But the reactions come from the intolerants. And look at the scale of the reactions! Social websites, chat platforms - all flooded with messages. Why though? Why is it that one person making a comment provokes anger against the entire community?

I had read once that fear of death brings people closer. Had assumed terrorist attacks would do the same. But it seems it is only increasing the divide between communities prejudiced against each other. And the rift is getting deeper.

When our freedom fighters hard earned independence for our country, they ensured that the constitution expressed our country as SECULAR, with freedom of religion and speech. Why? Because that is what made our country truly rich and beautiful - its varied cultural heritage. India has never been a Hindu nation, nor made any attempts towards it.

Which is just as well. When late Dr. APJ Kalam gave the country Wings of Fire, we never complained that he is a Muslim, a Tamilian. When soldiers of all religions lay down their lives at the border, we do not complain that they are not Hindus. And why think so deep? Even when Lagaan reached the Oscars, we were so very proud of the celebrity who has been lambasted by everyone in the last 24 hours.

There seems to be something wrong somewhere. When did we become so obsessed with religion? And why are people looking towards the Government for action? This is not something that requires policy action - it needs serious introspection.

Related Links:

Is India tolerant? It doesn't matter because the reactions to Aamir Khan's remark justify his fears

Love the food you eat!

Although the world is getting fatter by the day, including me, I have also come across many people, whose bodies are so weak that they medically need to gain weight. One thing that I have noticed in such people, is that their eating habits are not really in order. By eating habits, I don't mean that they don't watch their diet. They might take care to eat all the right foods, at the right times and in the right quantities. But that itself does not comprise of good eating habits, that is just like good etiquette.

What I mean by eating habits, is that they don't respect the food they eat. There is no love for the food. They eat, because they have to, to survive. And they eat while watching TV or working on their phones and laptops. They eat when everbody is eating and stop when everyone is done - not paying attention to what their mind and body is saying. They eat for the wrong reasons.

But its a sad state that I have come across in most households, including my own. More than the food, the attention is on the TV that is playing. And if ever they comment about the food, it is if the food is very good or if it is not up to their preferences.

Personally, I feel very sad when I see this. When we were young, there was a great importance on food in our family. We were never allowed to play with our food or even the food plates. Dinner was a family occasion when everybody would sit down together and also talk about each others' daily life. Yes there was the TV. But we did enjoy our food.

Early on, we were taught to put only as much food on our plates, as we were willing to eat. We were taught not to waste food, nor to leave crumpled leftovers all over the plates. And also not to complain about the food, we were told about how a balanced diet was important.

We were a lower middle class family, and cooking - eating habits  (like everything else) were based on the principle of thrift. No extra food was cooked, and no food on the plate was wasted. Of course, as kids we sometimes threw tantrums for the food we wanted, and occasionally that was given to us. My sister's favourite veggie one day, and the next day it was my turn. It was like a prize for good behaviour - we learned to value the food that we got.

Sweets, biscuits, wafers - all the fast food stuff that today's kids eat on a daily basis, were rare treats that were always shared. One square piece from a cadbury bar or one cream biscuit allowed on a day. We complained about it bitterly then, but we could relish it with much more gusto than anyday now. When we had less, we enjoyed it more.

I have begun to feel that it is much better to show thrift in your children's growing, learning years (1-10). I don't mean that you feed them less leaving them malnourished. Give all they need, but never more. Because basic food habits stay long with you, and it is always difficult to change it later in life. If you inculcate good eating habits in them, that can be the best thing you can ever do for their health, even when you are no longer around.

And as with food, children should be taught to appreciate everything they have, all that's on the plate. Why, its a lesson for all of us. To take a moment to sit back and enjoy what we have - one thing at a time.

ELSS & Mutual Funds, why one should consider them too

The first mutual fund scheme in India was launched by UTI in 1964; the mutual fund environment has changed much since then. As of Aug'15, Mutual Fund institutions in India had total assets under management (AUM) of  Rs.13.33 trillion. Out of which 45.5% was held by Individual investors (Source: AMFI).

Impressive. But consider the number of retail mutual fund accounts - 40.89 mlns. in a country with a population of more than 1.252 billion (2013). Okay, that is not a fair comparison to make. Considering NSDL + CDSL records indicate only about 21.5 mln demat accounts (couldn't get the data for retail investors). And a Bloomberg article (read here) indicates that less than 1.5% of India's population invests in the markets. But another article (read here) also claims that Indian households have about 20,000 tonnes of gold stacked away!! (Which explains why the government is so keen on monetization of this asset) If the retail investors have a capacity to buy gold, they might invest in MF as well.

Incidentally, the Government has also been keen on getting retail investors to invest in the stock market - the Rajiv Gandhi Equity Savings Scheme (2012-13) was announced for first time investors. But as of 31 Aug'15, only 50,200 accounts have been opened with CDSL / NSDL and not all of them have been invested in. Tax benefits on ELSS or Equity Linked Savings Schemes that offer tax benefits under 80C are comparable with PPF or NSC. Infact, ELSS only have a 3 year lock in period. Dividend income on Mutual fund is tax-free in India and there is no long term (held for more than 1 year) capital gains tax on equity MFs.

So why are investors wary of mutual funds? Risk perception of stock markets? The CRISIL-AMFI ELSS Fund performance index shows a return of 23.11% since inception, 13.54% for 5 years. (For overall statistics till Jun'15 - check this). Much better than the returns on Bank FDs or PPF. 

The only catch, if you can call it that, is that retail investors need to hold on for at least 5 years to get a good return. PPF has a 15 year term, NSC - 8 years? So 5 years is not a bad deal for better returns in this age when Bank FD rates are declining. Invest in a good mutual fund (after due research) and sit back and relax.

You no longer need a demat account to own mutual funds, you can directly buy from the fund house or a broker or an online portal. It makes sense right now to invest in one. And then, it also gives you the pride of investing in your country's businesses and contributing to their growth.

Why women need to unite and grow together

It is a known fact now that incidences of infertility is on the rise. And although infertility is not a 'women only' issue (male infertility is rising at a higher rate), yet the burden of being childless falls mostly on the woman, even in today's India. (Suggested reading - Women who wait)

Why though? Because women take it upon their head. As women, we are raised in a way that makes us believe that being childless is equivalent to being incomplete. The society around us, has set certain standards for us - starting from the ability to cook well, to getting married in around 25 years of age to producing children in about 1-2 years of marriage! And the unfortunate fact is that even women contribute towards this. 

Take any two women talking to each other, eventually the conversation will be directed to cooking, marriage, children, husbands - as if that was all there is to a woman's world. Stop and think why. 

Why should you ask a girl if she can cook? Do you ask the same of a boy? Did you ask her if she can breathe or think? What can you figure out about her abilities and intelligence, even if she answers in the affirmative? 

Why should you ask an unmarried girl of 28 - 'So when are you getting married?' Well, whenever she finds the right person and thinks she should. And if you are important to her, she will let you know about it when that happens. 

Why should you ask a married lady - 'So, are you expecting?' Like marriage, pregnancy is a very private thing. The married couple would decide when they are ready. And for all you know, they are battling serious problems in their life, which does not allow them to prepare for parenthood. If she is pregnant, you will eventually know, it is not something she can really hide. Why ask?

There are other important issues that you can talk about. A recent pan India study by Metropolis Healthcare indicates that about 1 in every 5 women in India faces a risk of PCOS or Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. It is a hormonal imbalance that can cause irregular periods, problems with pregnancy and our changing lifestyles, stress - is contributing heavily to it.Why don't we discuss this?

Remember the study - that says Indian women are the most stressed? Chetan Bhagat had written an article about it which went viral. Why do we hold on to things? Speak about it, share your problems, watch out for each other. A study published more than a decade ago (see link here), said friendships among women are truly special. Women have more to gain from their friendships with other women than men do (with other men, I mean). So get up, get together with your gals and keep going ladies. And promise yourselves that you will rid your world of unnecessary questions.

Use your diary to be more positive

When it comes to doing things to keep the positivity in you alive, keeping a diary is a good idea. At the end of each day, pick up a paper and pen (or your tab / laptop, if you prefer the digital way) and jot down what all you accomplished in the day.

Remember not to get bogged down by things you did not manage to achieve. Stick to the positive things. Things you did - a long pending task, a small help for your friend, some support to a colleague or relative. Even the smallest of things - smiled at a stranger, exercised for a few minutes, called up an old friend - anything that leaves you feeling happy and satisfied. WRITE THAT DOWN. You will remember the achievement and feel happy about it.

Why Matrimonial sites are painfully funny

Oh boy! I have wanted to write about this since ages. All those who have used the services of a matrimonial sites, must know how difficult it is to actually find a good match, or even a good profile on such sites. For those who haven't yet visited one, here's some information for you.

1. Maximum no of profiles you find on these sites are incomplete - Unfortunately its true. Both the text and the photo. Sometimes it is because the person entering the profile is either a parent / sibling or a relative. So 90% of the preferences are - 'Any'. Like they are ok with any religion, caste, colour, race, height, weight - something which is usually untrue. And there are not even a few lines of introduction or anything written in about the expectations. 
2. Inactive Members - You also have to contend with a whole bunch of profiles which have not been live since a month or more. I don't know why the sites continue with such profiles - if someone is not active for more than a month - they have either found their perfect match, or are not genuinely interested - email them and kill the profiles.
3. People who are just out for fun - Female members do really have a tougher time at these sites. If you find a 21 or 63 year old, putting on an interest for a 35 year old lady, most probably, they are just fooling around or are really desperate. And there are plenty of desperate cases, and if they are paid members, they will also send you messages - sometimes nearly lewd.
4. People who put in an interest for everybody - Maybe they think, that you should not feel left out. So there are people who put in an interest to every profile that the matrimonial site suggests. Their own preferences might be for a Hindu Marathi girl of about 25 years, but they will blindly send in an interest to a Christian girl of about 30 - or anyone else that they would reject when they actually read the profile information.
5. Irritating phone calls - And this you can blame directly on the site. After you have been online for a month or so, they will start calling you up for you to buy paid subscription - and they call you at afternoon. So if its a parent's number that you have put up - they will most definitely wake them up from their afternoon nap. And the sales representatives are pretty bold - they will make statements like if you pay for the subscription, you will see better and more profiles. I don't believe it - for the websites only say that they will highlight your profile or send you better matches. 

So, what should you do? Not sign up? No, not yet. You may just find your match if you are at it patiently. Remember, the website widens our horizons. Its just that you should take things with a pinch of salt. And keep your humour handy. For, most of the profiles will make you laugh, if you are in a cheerful mood.

The photos itself - the trend is to put up selfies these days - taken from weird angles, no smiles - just a stolen moment from a busy day at work. Thankfully, matrimonial sites don't accept group photos these days, otherwise there were people who would try to post that too - for you to guess who the groom/bride is. If someone has been abroad, they will most definitely put up a photo from that location - even if the fellow looks like a tiny speck standing in front of the Eiffel Tower. Just so you know that they are phoren-return.

The language, if they have written something about themselves, is another thing altogether. Some will advertise themselves, and some will write - 'Me, 30 year old, want girl'. Wow! Such low expectations! All around, no spellcheck, no grammar, people writing about themselves in a way that will make you feel they are describing a plaque on the wall. Part of that is because they have to write in English, well most sites don't give you a chance to write in Hindi or your native tongue. Honestly, there is a lot that can be improved when it comes to matrimonial sites.

And that's it. Your key to matrimonial sites. If you come across something funny - laugh out loud, don't take things too personally. There all sorts of people in the world and you have just presented yourself to them. Please do put up a complete profile of yourself with some introduction, something about your expectations - and do run it through a spellchecker before you publish it. If you really want to find your life partner, do put your best foot forward.

Indian Army - all weather saviours

Okay, now again I am a little behind times. But recently I came across a documentary by NDTV about the Indian Army expedition team of 18 who were at Mt. Everest, trying to scale its heights, when the Nepal earthquake struck. The earthquake triggered a major avalanche engulfing many teams at the mountain and killing many instantly. By God's grace, the Indian Army team survived, although some were injured and all were badly shaken. But when they managed to reach the base camp, they saw it was completely destroyed.

Although they were completely shaken, they did not waste any time. They were up and about in minutes, setting tents, rescuing others, providing medical aid and bringing together all supplies that were scattered all across. All this when the tremors were still being felt. The expedition team continued their support all through the rescue mission that continued for days after and stayed back later to clean the base camp of all the scattered waste. Then they returned.

Can any of us imagine doing anything like that? Coming out alive from a terrible avalanche, running towards the base camp to find there is nothing left, with tremors still being felt, we would have run towards the nearest help post - gotten out of there as fast as we could. 

But what makes the Indian Army different? Maybe our expectations. It could be a natural disaster, a terrorist attack, a landslide or a destroyed transport system in strife torn areas - Indian army is dispatched to do the 'needful'. Whatever that is. Were they trained for it? Is it part of their official job description? Do we even ask? Ever? 

And yet there are army veterans on hunger strike for the logically correct One Rank, One Pension. Prime Minister did not say anything about it in today's Mann ki Baat. Can we imagine what we would do if the army went on strike? But we needn't worry about that. They have been trained in - 'Theirs not to make reply, Theirs not to reason why, Theirs but to do and die' (Charge of the Light Brigade - Alfred Lord Tennyson). 

Dear PM, please give the army their due. Even the police force. Those who put their lives on stake for us, deserve to be the highest paid in the country.

PS: I coulnd't locate the entire video of the documentary - but some of the snippets are available at the link below:

http://www.ndtv.com/video/player/operation-everest-summiteers-to-saviours/the-earthquake-that-shook-the-everest-base-camp/378660